Sterling Ambivalence (sterlingnorth) wrote,
Sterling Ambivalence

The Quality Journalizing Initiative

Well, the quality journalizing initiative has been put on hold temporarily, due to my being ill. I just have some Florida stories to pass along to you, the long-suffering readers of this page!

Our first story teaches us to always do what you know. This man knew McDonald’s inside and out, so he was at an advantage when he decided to rob them!

Be careful when choosing roommates in Florida. This applies anywhere, but is of special intent in Florida. This man forgot to play rent, and played banjo all night long. So the fledgling femme-fatale and her creepy boyfriend went and found the typically Floridian solution to their roommate problems -- they stabbed him to death.

Elsewhere in Florida, don’t get plastic surgery from this man. The few who don’t die by his hand have the urge of committing suicide.
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