Charlie Brown and friends would never last more than an episode on television today. How can a kid today possibly relate to such a cast of well-adjusted, prepubescent children with freakishly small eyes and limbs. The characters arn't even rendered with sharp angles. The guys don't have gravity-defying hair. The women lack gravity-defying, well, womanly adornment. There's not a giant robot or a mutant alien or a pervert with a laser weapon among the cast. A deranged dog and a lack of parental oversight is a bit of a start, the Peanuts gang is really gonna need serious work to make them cool with todays kids.
Fortunately, the success of Loonatics Unleashed has given us a template as to how to modernize Charlie Brown and friends!
(If anybody knows to whom I should credit for that Charlie Brown reimaginations, drop me a line. I see they're signed by a "GNAW".)
UPDATE: Well, I found Gnaw.
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But where's Woodstock?